I'M OBSESSED WITH

〰 Hummus + green smoothies

〰 Getting up early for my workouts and sunrise errrrday

〰 Wholesome and nutritious food

〰 Saturday farmers markets

〰 The Bondi bubble

〰 My partner in life and love Phil

〰 Traveling anywhere and everywhere

I'LL GIVE YOU THE SHORT VERSION

AND HERE’S THE LONG VERSION

Behind the façade of beautiful Insta feeds and highlight reels, there’s a whole lot more to a person’s life story. And I’m so glad that you’ve come here to dig a little deeper. When I talk about dieting, binging and emotional eating, it’s because I’ve been there myself. Just a couple of years ago, I was verging on a serious eating disorder – undereating, overeating, and all the grey areas in between.

At 17, I discovered dieting for the first time. Prior to this point, I never really worried about my weight or my appearance, but that all changed. WHY? Well, there's a couple of reasons... It started when I went on the prescription medication Accutane for my skin – it caused all kind of side effects, including depression and gaining weight as a consequence. At the time I was living in Dubai, a place I found very toxic to live in as a teenage girl trying to find herself. Moving around so much and  growing up as a 3rd culture kid added to this dangerous concoction, so I increasingly felt lost and confused. Add to that a type A perfectionist personality and you've got yourself a perfect sh*%t storm. 

〰 Food was the enemy and my body was a burden. 

〰 I would weight myself up to 5x a day.

〰 I used food to reward and punish myself.

〰 I was constantly comparing myself to others. 

〰 On the outside, I had it all. But I was a shell of a human.

Then, something clicked. I realised this mental clusterfuck was controlling every aspect of my life, and I was tired. Tired of thinking “When you loose weight then... (fill in the gap)” and “Monday is a new start.”

What changed, you ask? Moving in with my partner Phil. Suddenly I couldn’t hide my weird eating habits and post-binge frantic nighttime workouts anymore. Once it hit me that I was literally living a double life and that, well, I loved this guy and wanted to open up to him fully, things changed. I realized that I hadn’t only been lying to family, friends and my partner, but to myself. I accepted that things needed to change.

The very first thing I did the next morning after having my rock bottom moment was buying a journal. I was intuitively drawn to writing about my emotions and looking back at my journey, my journal truly was my savior. An eating disorder keeps the world small, you know. It ignores the big scary questions and creates a sharp focus in your life: your body weight and shape. But sitting there in front of those empty pages, tears in my eyes… it was the first time in a long time that I got truly honest with myself. And so I went on a deep dive into my inner world. I also solicited the help of a health coach who herself had a past with eating disorders (which is one of the reasons I decided to become a coach myself years down the road). It was her who helped me transform my life, as she taught me to love and nurture my body through food instead of numbing it. 

Fast forward to now, and I’m a completely different person. I have mastered the art of being my own best friend and make self care a priority in my life. I don’t count calories, I don't weight myself and I don’t let fear guide my food choices. I enjoy eating and the process of cooking and experimenting with new recipes. I eat healthy because I love my body and have a new-found respect for this beautiful vehicle of life... The same goes for fitness – I work out because I love my body and I enjoy every day in which I get to push myself to be the fittest, strongest and healthiest version of myself.

When you believe in yourself more than you believe in food, you will stop using food as if it were your only chance at not falling apart. So whilst my struggle at it's core wasn't a food issue but a mind issue, looking at what and how I was eating was the catalyst to my healing.